Retail Therapy.....

For years women have been using shopping as an alternative to scheduling sessions with a therapist. One of my close friends and I use it as an escape from our husbands, children, pets, work, annoying friends, annoying strangers or anything else that we feel provides an acceptable level of stress to merit gathering our credit cards and making a mad dash to a shopping center.

Typically when I mention needing or participating in "retail therapy" it is met with knowing nods from any woman in the vicinity and a sigh and a head shake from any man that happens to overhear the comment. Recently however, one brave soul actually managed to work up the courage to ask why women were stupid enough to use the daily stress of life as an excuse to go shopping and to spend their husbands hard earned money. (Ladies, calm down....we all know that most of us work for our money just like our husbands, and those of us who don't actually go to work at a 9 to 5 still earn more than our keep by simply maintaining the house and caring for our children).

While the feminist in me bristled at the chauvinistic nature of the "gentleman's" comment I managed to reign in my tongue long enough to explain to him why shopping is an absolute necessity for wives and mothers.

The reason we require regular trips to the therapists offices that are located in Maurices, Kohls, Sears, Bath & Body Works and whatever nail salon is in the same area as the shopping center is because we spend an entire day catering to our children, when our husbands return home from work we are then expected to cater to them as well. Cooking, cleaning, managing the bills, it seems our work is never done.

When a woman walks into a store it is almost like walking into heaven for an hour! There are no whining children, no sulking husbands. There is nothing to clean, in fact there are people that work at that store who are paid specifically to clean up the messes made by the therapy patients. We will spend 45 minutes browsing through the store picking up every piece of clothing that catches our eye, another 45 minutes trying on all of those articles, primping in front of a mirror, trying to find that perfect shirt or that perfect pair of jeans. When we finally find that outfit that flatters every curve and covers every flaw we feel like an absolute queen, just for a little while.

We know that we have to return home to children that need bathed. We know that there are probably still dishes from dinner needing to be washed. But for an hour, we feel like we are worry free, living the high life.

Women do not need to go lay on a couch and talk to a shrink about their problems, we have girlfriends for that. We don't need someone to tell us what our problems are, we already know, and there is not a single woman that would be willing to sacrifice those "problems" for her sanity. You see, our "problems" our the very things that we hold dearest, our "problems" are our families and friends.

So gentleman, please understand that your wives are not going to "retail therapy" in an attempt to completely empty your wallets, they are actually trying to save you money that would be spent on costly psychiatrists by visiting retailers instead. (Although an exceptionally fat wallet in the rear pocket of a pair of jeans could potentially lead to pinched nerves or back problems.....) That being said, the next time your wife tells you that she needs some retail therapy just smile, give her a kiss and send her on her merry way. Then hit your knees and pray that your bank account survives her brush with insanity.