Momma

When I was a kid, the thought of being anything like my mom was absolutely horrifying (don't judge me, you thought the same thing), and when I became a mother, I vowed that I would do things differently. After all, no mother who loved their child would actually spank them right? They wouldn't force them to eat everything on their plate because, let's face it, brussel sprouts are just plain nasty! I was certain that I had everything figured out and that I knew everything there was to know about how to raise a kid. Boy was I wrong!

It wasn't long after I had my own daughter that I began to learn just how incredibly wrong I was. For all of my promises to myself that I would not turn into my mother, I seem to hear her voice coming out of my mouth on an all too regular basis lately. Suddenly, I find myself understanding that she was actually telling me the truth when she said, "I'm spanking you because I love you. It hurts me too." And the "starving Eithiopian kids" tactic to get me to eat my dinner? She was telling the truth about that too! The very methods of punishment that my mother used to dicipline me, while they seemed cruel and borderline abusive at the time, suddenly make a great deal of sense to me. More and more, I hear people that know both my mother and myself telling me how much I look and act like her, and more and more I realize thatI am completely ok with that.

You see, not only is my mother an exceptionally beautiful woman (don't be mad...we've just got good genes), she is also an incredibly smart woman (and I'm not just talking about book smarts), a talented woman (I've never seen a woman juggle as many responsiblities as my Momma) and most importantly, she is a Godly woman. So if someone looks at me and my life, and sees any sort of reflection of my mother in it....then I believe I'll take that as a pretty amazing compliment. If I can handle life's troubles and stress with even a fraction of the grace that I've seen my mother handle them, then I would consider myself a success. If I raise my children exactly the same way that my mother raised me, and they feel the same way about me that I feel about my mother, well, that's even better. Because someday, my baby girl is going to grow up, and she will leave my side (hopefully not to go halfway around the world like I did), and I will have to let her go. My job will be done and the only thing left for me to do will be to pray that I did enough while she was with me.

When the day comes that I have to step back and look at the woman I raised, my one wish is that I managed to become my mother enough that my daughter will someday become me.